 | Im Busy! | May 20, '08 6:48 AM
for everyone |
sigh* im a busy-body for everything and i dont feel like goin online much at this time... i havent finished my books that im reading yet and i just cant find the time to do all the things that i need and wanted to do... i wont say that im busy with work because i've been skipping work a lot this past few weeks lol... im on the verge of getting sacked... lol
i know that i've been missing a lot on the online world... i havent talked to people that much and i do miss them hehehe i think that i just wanted to spend most of my time at the moment with my family hehehe our family barely gets complete so i wanted to make the most out of it because soon my brothers are goin back to the philly again...
i guess life is full of everything that you cant even do all the things you wanted... i work and i have my family good thing i dont have love-life at the moment or else ill be awake 24/7 lol...
well conciously i really do want a love-life but sub-conciously i really dont want it... simply because (i think) that i was born to live alone and take all the cruelty the world has to give... i do things without explanation and that leads people to hating me lol, aside form living my life alone i was born to be hated ( <<< drama)
and sometimes i hurt people without realizing it... and when they asks me what my reasons are, i just dont give them out like buy one take one lol because i really dont like explaining things, i dont because i think that they wouldnt understand it or even if they do they will try not to understand it and its so frustrating that way... so in the end they are hurt and im hated... i guess thats how it is and i dont think that i mind being hated...
i think what i need now is more time... but how can i have that when im already occupied with things that i really need to do and responsibilities that i didnt asked for???
since ive been gone for a long time... im making the most of my free time by rambling here (what else is new?)...
since the real world disappoints me a lot i've been watching Anime 24/7 and enjoying the solitude in my very own boudoir since i have nowhere to go to lol... and meeting this wonderful person im not going to be scared dropping his name here Atsushi Otani there i've said it...
if theres one thing im good at is that when the real world disappoints me i conjure this world of mine as my refuge... i hate being sad most of the time hence i need to extract happiness somewhere else... as to how josef would put it "happiness lies within"...
having plethora of opinions about happiness in my previous post and having another opinion in this post doesnt make me consistent... but im just saying what i feel about happiness at the moment... and as to happiness??? i never believed that theres such thing as bliss or nirvana and the like...
happiness needs a lot of work... and how bad you really want it... you should know where to look for it... theres no such thing as a never-ending happiness i think that thats just plain stupidity... you make your own happiness, and its up to you on how long you want it... happiness isnt really that hard to find, and you are a fool if you think that your happiness lies on someone's hands...
as for me i just want to be happy whenever i can... i guess thats all that matters now... im trying to extract all the happiness in this world, it doesnt matter where its coming from... i just need to get it...
in the end when you're about to leave this cruel world,,, all you will remember are the happy moments while you were alive, atleast thats what i think since most people who are about to pass away always reminisce all the happy moments they had...
i guess thats why i wanted to be happy most of the time because i want to remember all the happiness i had and it would be cool if you had plenty because you'll probably spend another lifetime just thinking about the happy moments its like having 2 lives lol...
seriously we define our own happiness, and we make our own happiness, if you cant find it here why not go somewhere else???
theres only one thing that im wishing and praying for...
that i wont suffer from alzheimer... hihihi
oh well ive been sick this past couple of days... i have this deadly sickness (kafunsho) hahaha its an allergy from pollen i think... it makes your eyes tears and nose to itch like hell and not to mention the nasal mucus thats free flowing out of my nostrils... Yes, its deadly because i might drown from the nasal mucus lol... and i still worked even though im sick... i think that they should give me an award or something for that (i wish)...
anyway and so ive logged in on multiply last night... i got a notifications that some of my song(s) in my music page had been deleted... and so instead of deleting all my music, i changed the option where in only my contacts can view my music... i think multiply will only send you notifications if the copyrighted music was posted for everyone... atleast thats what i think and what i did with mine... so if you cant see my account then that means multiply deleted it hahaha... goodluck...
and i already contacted multiply about this issue hoping that they hear me out...
by the way im sorry for flooding your inbox with my reposts...
and yes im just posting this for the sake of blogging... i really needed to update my site...
oh well we know that philippines has many religions and sects and what not... and if im not mistaken the church and the government both has different power... what im not getting is, why the churches or the people who runs the church keep meddling with politics... and i also find it ridiculous and preposterous that they even partake to rallies and all the shenanigans thats been happening in the philippines...
they could just address the issue in their homily or just ask the devoted people to pray for peace and prosperity of the country... i know that it needs more prayer to attain that but do they really need to go out there and be a politicians??? oh right,,, i believe that they dont go that far from the politicians... infact, they are mostly the same...
my other issues is why the church is so against same sex marriage or cicil unions for GLBT community... i just cant figure out why, where in they always preach about God is Love, God is Understanding, God is Forgiving and Accepting and all those kinds of bullshits... if God is like that, then who the hell are they to go against people who love each other??? will God wont accept two people who love each other and done nothing wrong just that they love each other???
well im not after the wedding gown or the tux i have to wear at the wedding... honestly thats not how imagined it... all im after is the rights i could get in that civil union or something...
they said that "the youth is our future, our hope" but then again there are still young people who lacks education and lacks whatever they need... more orphans in the orphanages, convents, and other places...
im thinking that if they only allow GLBT people to adopt then most of our youth will have a good life... since most of the orphanages cant give all what the childrens needs... i think that GLBT people/couple can be a good provider... if that happens then we dont need all those orphanages, people dont need to leave their kids in the convent, and the government wont need to support more kids in those places and can make a good use of the money instead... and im not even sure that kids there get the same education compared to kids who has parents... where is our hope if kids are not well educated?
People are so frightened that GLBT couples would raise another homosexual generation... i find that absurd and repugnant... and people are so frightened that a kid will get molested by the couple... oh well people are so shallow that way... most cases of molestations are done by heterosexual people and people who you never thought could do such things...
Yes! yes there are more kids who get molested by a priest than GLBT people...
so much for their holiness....
yay! i guess people who i interact with (personally) at the moment are kinda liking me... from work to convienience store... oh well i guess the natural kindness emanates in me lol and people are appreciating it...
my workmate wants me to be his son lol... her reason was because im so kind and all that hahaha... i know im mean at times and on my blogs but im not that mean in person... i am really kind, and adorable and cute hahaha (im buttering myself i know) and as usual violent reactions are not permitted or you can blog your reactions if you want lol...
and other people who have seen my kindness we're the cashier on this certain convenience store... it happened a lot of times that they dont punch some items... and i was like "kore mada haitenai desu" you havent punched this item yet for the nth time... and before i left the store i over heard them talking about me, they didnt even had the decency to wait for me to leave... and their conversation was like this "ii okyaksan neh, ano hito yasashii" "good customer, and hes kind"...
i just dont feel like hearing people talking about me... even if its a compliment coz i might suffer from hydrocephalus and i dont want that hahaha... and yes i know that i dont need to blog about this stuff but im just that desperate to update my blog... bear with me...
anyway, im pondering over this thing again... most women always say that size doesnt matter, but when it comes to that time they'll get disappointed if her partner is not that well endowed... And as to Men size doesnt really matter because they cant do anything about it, all they want is that they can inject as many as possible with their dumbstick... Im sure that most men watch porn and most men know their sizes, which isnt a big deal...
what im pondering about is that, since most women are so fond talking about sizes, im thinking if they ever tried measuring their vaginas?
oh well since i've been getting messages lately on friendster ive been obligated to go online there... since most of my schoolmates (back when i was still in school) dont have multiply accounts to just message me here or dont know my ym id...
awhile ago i got the time to browse on people's profiles... i was happy seeing people i knew back then who put theirself together just fine... and i wouldnt say that i am disappointed to people who didnt changed, why would i be??? im trying to have my own life and i dont even know how they look at me now if they chance upon viewing my very own profy...
i didnt stay long ( which i normally do) viewing people's profile because i never knew that colored contacts are still in lol... i know, i know you dont have to tell me that i should mind my own business but unfortunately everything is my business hahaha... back to seeing those colored contacts it was like a reflex for me to just click on the log out button to prevent myself from being rude, there are things that i just cant stop and if i dont have anything better to say then i might as well dont say anything, ill just blog about it hahaha
colored contacts are so gay, well atleast for me... well i dont have issues with people who have different eye color just as long its their true color... but to people who wear them just to look cool i would say think again... im quite sure that those contact dont even have a grade... they are like screaming for attention,,, and (in my head) oh how did you get those blue/green and colors that doesnt even exist in a box of crayola, your mom was prolly gang raped by a bunch of foreigners and she had you??? hahaha oh-mi-gawd i am so mean...
well speaking of mean (ofcourse aside from me)... people wonder why i always logged-in in invisible mode... so here are some of the reason as to why...
- there are people in my contacts that i dont want to talk to... i added them out of the goodness of my heart (i beg my pardon?) and sometimes i dont want to talk to certain people...
- if someone sent me an IM then if im not replying (since im on invi-mode) then that someone would prolly assume that im simply not online... who would know for sure?
- well im already boring online what more if im on invisible mode???
- sometimes im too tired with work that i barely get to go online as much as to even reply... i have a life too you know, and a busy one at that...
- people wont have any reason to be angry as to why i dont reply...
- im supposed to be invisble remember??? that means you shouldnt notice me lol...
those are just some reason... but to people who keep messaging me with their sweet nothings or to say hi or to just check up on me, thanks and i appreciate it a lot...
and there are people who are much meaner than me... you can see them online but doesnt even have the decency to reply or to tell you that they are busy with something they are not even on busy mode because the bright yellow icon (status) say so...
oh well atleast im a little kinder than them dont you think???
last night i was pondering about "half-bath"... i dont know hahaha it just came over me as to why people say half-bath... no offence to kathy coz she used to say this when we were having our daily conference before, and we joke around asking her which side of her body she would bathe lol...
and so since its impossible to bathe just the right or left side of your body without the other side getting wet... obviously what they meant was washing their body except for the head part... and it made me think that if you're not going to wash your head then i would say its 1/8 bath lol...not unless you have a really big head to consider it as half or you're suffering from hydrocephalus hahahaha... then half-bath would be appropriate...
oh well this is what i get from thinking too much and this is what happens when im irritated and stressed out...
speaking of irritation... im irritable this past few weeks dealing with all the stuff and my dramas in life... ( i have a life too you know ) and sometimes it cant be helped that im like this,,, thats why i dont log in much to prevent myself from being rude to particular people... oh theres this guy in youtube who i really hate, i just hate him thats all because he reminds me of someone i hate ... hate is a crime? yeah, yeah so i've heard... sue me...
since i hate youtube guy i always log in on youtube and watch him just so i could hate him more and annoy myself from watching it... im torturing myself that way and yet i keep on watching it... oh well im a masochist little bastard what can i say?
i so need mental help... my friend daniel said so....
i so miss playing outside... i remembered when i was a kid, i stayed more outside than inside... i guess i played all kinds of street games from hopscotch, chinese garter hahaha, jackstone, hide and seek, tumbang preso and all the games kids used to play before... not to mention street fight hahaha i can say ive been bad with my playmates before... they would go home with a black eye or injured... Yes, yes i was able to knock my playmates down... but apparently im not the same person now (obvious ba?) lol
its sad that most kids nowadays dont even know those games... coz kids are more into online games, PS, X-box and all those techy stuff ... which i think that those kind of games contributes more to a child 's obesity... well i guess i dont need to explain much as to why i think that... obviously people who just sit there and clicking their boredom away while munching some food with 1000 calories (okay im exaggerating) compared to kids who sweat outside and play rather than eat hahaha...
apparently im having issue with fat people particularly to guys... i had a bad experience and i wont elaborate lol... well im not hating them at the moment because im too thin like that... i know there are times that a people bloat due to depression or something and whats worst is out of gluttony... well in times like that what i do is starve myself to death and when im about to faint i eat a cube of cheese hahaha (that is so DWP)...
well you ate your way to be like that... so dont give me those inferiority complex/insecurities bullshit... you might as well do something about it...
well i wasnt expecting to receive anything this v-day... but i got a bunch of things... woke up with a nice text messages... mom treated us to dinner... got 5 chocolates, and starbucks coffee and a mochi my fave from my IBF (click here for photos)...
oh may i point out that there are only 3 chocolates in the pic... well im not technically single though i still spend my v-day alone... and suddenly i realized that or i remembered this particualr movie "down with love" that chocolates are the best alternative for sex... since i ate 2 of the chocolates (reason why there are only 3 in the pic) so does that mean i already came twice not to mention condom-less??? hahaha
since condom is = protection (whats the connection?)... this aint releant to v-day but rather an issue ive been dealing with people and i want to write about it... goin back to this line "what he dont know wont hurt him" (click here)... and the issue im talking about is that people tend to withhold things that they think would hurt me or i would say that they are trying to protect me from the pain... i know i should be happy about that because they love me that much... but knowing myself im into emotionally S and M... aside from having a sweet and kind exterior (ows?) i have a very hard interior, what i mean is i know how to protect myself... i've been struggling my whole life protecting myself and im still here... im hard as a shell no wonder i end up as a decoration on the bottom shelf hahaha
i hope people wont misunderstood me with this post... its just that i've been dealing with a lot of issues lately in spite of my super busy life... and i needed to vent some out...
im back and still pretending that my words are very educational lol...
i so miss doing cross-stitch and all... bwahahaha i wonder if i still have my cloths and patterns at our home in Phil... yeah i used to do all that, with my uncles and aunties... we're like a stitching group at home... and i always ask oh do you have this no. 725 hahaha (pertaining to DMC) oh well if you you dont know what im talking about i feel sorry for you... or maybe you were using "Anchor" the cheapest thread ever... lol
anyway... i just want to talk about Helping People lol (whats the relevance of cross-stitch?)...
helping people... i know its not easy helping people when most of them depend on you... and i know its not easy to just stop helping people, may it be your friends, family and whoever you want...
but there are things we should know about helping...
sacrifice - compromising your need so that other people will benefit from it... and
excess - self explanatory... usually rich people have this lol...
there is nothing wrong with helping... im not against it... i help people too and God knows that, i dont need to enumerate all of them... but do we really need to compromise that much to ourselves so that we can help other people??? well maybe to your family and a very close friend... (when i say close! really close lol)
i really dont know what and how to say it without sounding selfish... this is not an easy thing to say but ill say it anyway... if youre compromising too much it may lead you to blaming people... (why is that?) when you realize that youre not doing anything for yourself then the blame-game is on... and you're like "i never get to this and that" or "i gave everything just because"
and so on and you lament living the life you wanted in the first place...
did you ever asked them if they really need that help??? or did you ever asked if its okay to stop helping them???
im sure they wont be left in destitute or something worst than that... its just a matter of choice "i can and i can't"...
lets say you are walking... and on the other side theres an old lady who stumble and can't get up... assuming that theres no pedestrian lane and the cars are moving so fast... being aware of the peril involved, will you still help the old lady???
assuming that you helped her that doesnt justify you as a good person (although its a good deed then hooray for you)
and assuming that you want to help her but got hit by a fast moving car,,, im quite sure that you need to blame somebody eh??? would it be the old lady or the driver??? or would you muster all the courage and blame yourself (i doubt it)???
again its a matter of choice "i can and i cant"... though this example is a little exaggerated... you'll get the point... (i cant be any more redundant than this! lol)
we help people with our own volition no one is forcing you or whatsoever... and "sometimes" compromising ourselves... but i think that we should do it with discretion...
we always have a choice as i said a no. of times in my previous posts... in this case to help or not to help... or just help without compromising while ameliorating your life... ( i dont believe that i made any sense lol)
anyway i always think that most aspects of life and life itself are like a cross-stitch... the difference is we make our own pattern and theres no icon that will represent a particular color of the DMC...
and the DMC(s) represents the choices we make, the things we do, our goal, behaviour etc. etc.
since we make our own pattern then its up to us, on how it will look in the end ... did we stitched the right colors or not??? did a particular color was stitched in a right place or not???
hence we should also be aware of the consequences...
I call it "The Threads of Fate" ahihihi
well for the sake of blogging, im back again... and i can hear you all say "here he goes again" hahaha... Sue me then... i like rambling on to something,,, its as if my words are sensible and very educational bwahahaha...
anyway... i just hate it when people dont change the toilet paper when its empty... where in they are aware that its empty after they used it... they wont even take the liberty of changing it... gawd!!!
i went to the bathroom because i needed to go... its my ritual... after lunch i always go... having fast metabolism and all,,, i always need to go, hence i get irritated and furious at the same time if the john is lacking of or something is missing... and when i went to the loo there is no effing toilet paper... good thing i always carry a wet ones... for my anal needs hahahaha... nothing can do better... lol
well you can see people how well they are taught just by using the loo... LOL...
i also hate it when people forget to put the toilet seat up or down ... and what i hate most about when someone just used the loo is that they leave remnants behind... argh!!! i could almost kill that person... i know someone who died just by seeing remnants on the toilet bowl lol... he vomitted all his internal organs and all hahaha... i dont need to be that graphic... but you get the point...
i know, i know i hate everything... i could have just changed the toilet paper myself and all that... but you see... this is not about me... (after all that I(s) im saying that this is not about me hahaha... beat that!)well this is about people who lack toilet manners...
they should have gone to London and took Toilet Etiquette Lessons...
i passed that lesson with flying colors... lol im hoping they do the same...
"Someone's Gotta Give Hiatus a Complimint" this should've been included to my previous post but i think it would be too long, long enough to bore the hell out of you lol... thats why i broke them down to two parts...
well its good to recieve a compliment... but when someone gives you a compli-mint... then theres something wrong and you need to think about it lol...
i dont know why there are people who arent aware that they have this body odor or a bad breath... maybe they are aware but not just doing anything about it.. or they arent because they are already immune to that kind of smell... or prolly because their sense of smell had gone dead because of their own smell? hahaha or prolly the dentist died and the stores run out of deodorants??? i cant tell for sure...
i would say that soury or salty smell when youre sweaty is natural or when youre breath stink after you ate something with garlic and all the food that leaves distinctive smell in your breath,,, and again thats natural... they wouldnt make breath mints and deodorant for nothing...
and to people who do have that foul smell where in you can already smell them within a five mile radius... they should know that the human nose can only take so much... wtf i would swear on my dead fish's grave my perfume didnt even stood a chance lol...
its never wrong to take a whiff of how your body smell... and its never wrong to smell your breath people...
aaahhhhmmm.... i dont really know for sure how to start this blog hahaha i didnt think about what i have to post that much... im just posting at the top of my head (my hair?) lol
anyway im trying to be on semi-hiatus mode... oh well for the reason i wont post here hahaha... so you'll be seeing me not online most of the time... im just posting this to people who cares,,, and to those who dont you could die envying me hahaha just kidding...
oh well being semi-hiatus has done good to me... its been a week now since i started sleeping early... and im saying goodbye to eyebags (eyebags that have its own life) lol... and i've become stress-less...
my skin becomes more smoother and fairer ahihihi and im loving it (who wouldnt?)
the only thing im missing is that i barely get to talk to people online... but they prolly understand... and i dont feel like meeting more and more people... those i already met are more than enough... but im not saying that im closing my door to new people...
talking to new people online "at the moment" is not my thing... especially when that person is as silent as the lamb (silence of the lambs) someones gotta give... someone needs to jump start the convo... well i know im too full of myself sometimes ego-centric and usually talks about me, myself and I... but a conversation aint all about me hahaha i get tired talking about myself too, sometimes i just hire someone to talk about me because it gets tiring and all hahaha...
or when that person will only talk if being asked... what the fuck am i??? an arsenal of questions??? and when a person is like that as ive said someone's gotta give... and all i can give him is a goodbye message if that person is lucky enough hahaha or none at all...
im not trying to be a bitch or something...
what can i say??? HAPPY NEW YEAR i guess? lol i know its too late for greeting everyone a happy new year, but i wish you all a prosperous one... its just that everyone is greeting everyone and i "sometimes" hate going with the bandwagon (sue me)...
oh well as if everyone is greeting everyone isnt enough yet, they now exchange new year resolutions lol... isnt that great??? hahaha
please dont get me wrong im not bashing people... i respect them, really!
its just that someone bugged me and asked for my resolutions (as if i needed one LOL) and i took a time to think if i really need to have one...
truth be told not all people really think about having a new year resolutions and some people who do have one they dont even follow their own resolutions, so whats the use in having one??? and im quite sure that some people are wishing for this and that resolutions 49 years ago lol its already 2008 and their resolutions are already the same age as they are hahaha...
im not sour-graping anything and im not being a bitter bitch in this post (atleast thats what i think) lol... well i just think that having resolutions now because everyone is having it is pure hipocrisy, and as i said hypocrisy gives me pause... i can have any resolutions any time of the year it doesnt matter to me... so why should i have one now??? and besides new year comes every year so whats the big deal???
for me its like this: last last year when 2007 is about to come people are like hooray its 2007 and now people are like hooray 2008 and im sure next year they are like hooray 2009 hahahaha
lol im rambling on too much... no offence to people who feel that im bashing them or something i didnt mean it like that really!...
I know, i know i should get a life on second thought maybe not LOL!
im supposed to be at work at the moment instead of blogging here in multiply... but i wasnt able to wake up on time argh!!! im actually running out of excuses (used them all) why i didnt work today (for the nth time) so next time i'll skip work i'd probably be calling in dead hahaha...
oh well its the day before christmas... they shouldnt expect everyone to work especially non-japanese people... i know theres a saying "when you're in rome, do as romans do" but hey! you cant take the custom and tradition of other people especially when they grow up doing them right? Right!
and so here i am rambling all this non-sense... im actually celebrating my christmas now by doing what i love--blogging while doing the sit,sip and puff session hahaha, what can i say i get my jollies this way...
skipping work today wont hurt the company that much i guess because i have a lot of reasons to celebrate christmas (why shouldn't I?) well for one - being single this christmas! yes, Yes! you read that right... i can be happy when im single i dont need a special someone to celebrate christmas and thats the least i wanted so to speak and whats odd about while typing this is that "all by myself" is blaring on my speaker (clicking the skip button now) there hahaha...
oh well, i have my family in good health, i wont say that life is that hard for us (though sometimes it is), i have josef (couldn't ask for more) and i have my friends who love and cares for me... oh and to a job that pays the rent and bills though i skip a lot of it... i guess thats enough reason to celebrate christmas... dont you think?
oh well its been 49 years since i posted anything and still i cant think of something to post about... so to prevent algae and molds forming around my site, i took a gander from the "bible" and i found this so i might as well share it for the sake of updating my site and blogging... this is so not me,,, as much as possible i want to make my post(s) more personal but i realized that too much of me aint good hahaha...
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22 Signs You've Got It Together
- You've remained friends with atleast one of your exes. You really rock if you're also friends with his new girlfriend.
- You run into the bitchiest alpha-girl(gay) from your high school and you realize you didn't even have to lie about what you're up to these days. In fact, you're pretty sure your life is better than her's. Ha!
- You own a set of tools. No curtain hanging, toilet plunging, or DIY assembly is too much for you.
- You don't live vicariously through your boyfriends. You used to date drummer; now you take drum lessons. You used to date artist; now you paint.
- When you first meet your new man's parents and they tell you to call them tita and tito, you realize you were planning to anyway.
- You dont feel compelled to follow every fashion fad--only ones that flatter you.
- A dinner-party crisis--scorched puttanesca sauce, a sudden realization that you don't own six wine glasses-- doesn't throw you into a tailspin.
- You know that even if your job, your home, and your lovelife are never all perfect at the same time, you'll still live.
- You either have a job or have a plan to nab your dream one...soon.
- You don't RSVP "yes!" to every invite.
- When you like a guy, you ask him out (or atleast ask for his mobile number).
- You have a close-knit circle of pals, plus a random collection of other guy-and-girl friends you've met at work, out running, or in french class.
- Instead of aggressively hinting to your parents to buy you a stunning accessories or an ipod, you save up, stroll in, and slap down your hard-earned cash. (totally me)
- That long-distance friend you felt guilty about not keeping up with for the past five years? You finally get the courage to send an I'm-sorry-I-haven't-written-email.
- A guy you met doesn't call. Instead of crying into you're iced tea, you realize it's his mistake, not yours. (hell yeah?)
- When a friend tells you she met a new man, your first question isn't "Does he have any friends for me?"
- Students from your high school or college call you to ask for career advice and you actually have stuff to tell them.
- After a hell day at work or a night with five hours' sleep, you still hit the gym.
- When you meet a hot but emotionally unavailable guy, the type you once would have jumped through hoops for, you think, "I dated you already. I don't ever need to that to myself again."
- When you hear a friend is pissed at you, address her directly instead of dragging your gossipy posse into it.
- you do discreetly let someone know when she has something in her teeth.
- You realize that being in no relationship is better than being in a bad one. Okay, unless the sex is really good.
its effing 6:30 am in the morning as usual havent slept yet... sit, sip and puff session while listening to emo's music and about to cut my hair again... well since i spent a lot yesterday on clothes and a new shoes, i dont have enough money left to go and get a haircut in a decent salon... oh well when did i ever go to a salon??? after that unsatisfying haircut i've got before... eversince that bad scenario i myself did and doing my hair alone lol... besides i look cute with a shuffled and messed up hair hahaha and as for the rules violent reactions are not welcome...
well havent much gone online these past few months, maybe it means that im having a friggin life lol... been thinking about my life and everytime i do think about it, it makes me cry,,, hahaha i dont know what are the reasons for my dam to break... but im sure that it isnt because im happy nor because im sad... i am really confuse at the moment and i barely have time for myself, hence the little time on cyberspace...
i would say that my life isnt a mess and not perfect either,,, its just that i grow frustrated and impatient because my plans are not falling into places yet as much as i want them to... Yes, i had planned my life eversince the day i was born lol... but everytime i come across a detour there will always be a slight change (plan B) in my plans or goals i want to achieve and thats inevitable... i just know what i want out of my life...
oh well i guess knowing what you want out of life isnt a bad thing... and wanting is what makes people live their life... they would set their goals, would just do about anything to reach it, and when they reach their goals, its time to set a new one... so practically we live our life because we want something out of it... and i think that people would never be fully contented, they would want and want more...
just think about it, if you already have what you all wanted out of life, is there a reason to still live your life???
all i want and all i know now is that im in dire need of an haircut...
im the person who writes everything what comes into mind lol... or im just being a blog-freak again... anyway who cares?? i wont apologize for flooding other people message board,,, besides there are only few people who really reads my post hahaha thanks to those who do...
oh well its 4 am and have nothing to do im just killing time because i have later.. so i decided to just ramble on something as opposed to doing nothing lol... im not imposing anything with all my post... im just speaking for myself...
In relationship, people tends to say that past is past,,, Ok, ok i get their point i half-agree i think... well in my case i tend to want more about someones past as well as the present...
i wouldnt even care if you talk about your ex(s)... you can even talk about your life before and all the things you've been through... where in other people just want to keep their past hidden or dont want to talk about it (the reason is?) well if your so proud saying past is past then why in the hell is it so hard to talk about it???
well theres this one Ex who claims that i used his past against him... just to clear my side, i didnt used his past against him although i used the lies he told me against him...
if ever your going to tell someone about your past make sure that it really happened and you shouldn't change any fact regarding what past youre talking about... the coherence of the story should always be there...
well i dont find any sense about lying about my past... i should be proud of it because my past made me the way i am today (which is??? lol) it nurtured me to be the best i can be as of now... i see my past as a learning ground and not as something i should be ashamed of... maybe some of you are thinking that i can say this because i had a good past... well i wouldnt say that i had a good past nor a bad one...
well im a person who analyze everything sometimes they even tell me that im over analyzing everything... but they didnt know that knowing their past is helping me to understand them at the present... why is he like this and like that, maybe somewhere in hes past he got hurt thats why hes so bitter now and what not... or maybe he got fooled before thats why hes being cautious... yes, yes i do those kind of thing to help me understand more of the person involve,,, your past was never meant to be a weapon to be used against you...
what matters most about the past is not how good it was or how bad it was... the most important thing is what you learned from it...
omg its almost 8 in the morning and i havent slept yet... i should prolly be hitting the sack hours ago... but i enjoyed watching movies and lost track of the time... so before i go to my deep slumber (in tagalog: bago ako hihimlay lol) i want to just post something... well i know that i can just type and post this when i wake up but it would be different when i post it later... as much as possible i want to post it while it still on my mind...
anyway im just annoyed when people asks me my ASL (age, sex, location) and then, they even came up with NASL (N=name)... i know that its a cyber space thingy and its the most FAQ when you meet someone online... but when you met someone, somewhere like multiply, friendster or other site that requires you to make a profile or some sort... well i think that they shouldnt be asking that silly question because clearly they didnt even have the decency to read your profile first... i might answer it if it wasnt specified in my profile... they just approached you because they were attracted to your pictures (what the hell is wrong with them?)... why in the hell they invented profiles for???
oh well... (im speaking for myself) if people asked me that asl thingy, not that im being mean, i blow them off asap... well if they cant find the time to read my profile, why would i spend my time for that person??? where in clearly i have stated the facts that needs to be stated...
and lame reasons are not acceptable like "ive got decieved before", "you might be a poser" and all the excuses they make... well im not buying those excuses... well i didnt put up that account for the purpose of deceiving people...
and people should be responsible when making an account to different sites... they should atleast have the decency to mention that the posted pictures are not them or their profiles doesnt match what they truly are... i think people who does that are worthy of despise...
its not about that they are protecting themselves, why they pretended to be this person when in fact they are not... if they are protecting themselves they shouldnt put up stuff like that in the first place... or they should just set their profile to private if they dont want unwanted people viewing their sites... i think that, that is not so hard to do...
im rambling on to much... i prolly just go and get some rest...
this would be a quick post... i have my curfew...well i wouldnt say curfew im just limiting myself from sleeping late...
oh well,,, i remembered someone being disappointed about my other post before (when he still has the right to be) and i wont point out which post is that hahaha you can do the searching... so he was talking about my reputation and dignity,,, he was asking me "what would people say when they read it?" and i asked him back "what would they say?" lol meaning i really dont care on what would people say or think about me...
he told me that he was just trying to be concern and protective (try harder!) and whats there to protect??? do i strike people as someone who needs protection??? i guess not... i can take care of myself thank you very much... i did fine when i was not with him yet and... and if i knew that my dignity and reputation is at stake with that post i would not even post it... im not that dumb for pete's sake...
the thing is if i would super care of what people might think of me, or if i care too much if they judge or criticize me, well i guess i wouldnt even be here and posting all my shitty nonsense...
im the person who isnt afraid of being judge or criticize,,, besides they can never conclude anything,,, that im like this and like that... and it would be hard defining me (i guess) and they can never question my quidity...
i am travelling the road between who i think i am and who i can be... i really dont care much about what might people say about me im allowing myself to make the journey... the path that i want to traverse... besides if they were to judge me base with my site... they still have a lot to learn because their just looking at the tip of the iceberg...
things arent always what they seem and objects in the rear view mirror may appear closer than they are...
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